feelings friday

is this allowed?? Can I really put pen to paper or fingers to keys....get some stuff out and it be ok? I really don't know, but I know I am not ashamed and you shouldn't be either. You know, life isn't always garden roses and anemones.
Sometimes it's enemies and thorns. (ephesians 6:12)
Over the last three years, I have been discovering. Sometimes about myself, sometimes about people I have loved and sometimes about people I have lost. (proverbs 3:5,6~ my moms life vs.)

I have had thoughts and cried out "Take this, hold me, I can't" Then the promise- When it hurts and when it doesn't make sense - Sing the praise of the one who you can cling too. But, have I?
I'm guarded......answers of "no complaints here" & "I'm great"
Really? Well, bottom line without my belief there's no me. Without, His sacrifice.... I'm not who I am. Despite my selfish actions- this is my core and the only reason I am and who I am.
Can someone who has the ability to create such beautiful things and joyous events really have those feelings???? Here's a thought- what if (I/we) constantly lived like we are forgiven? Like we {knew} what merciful restoration meant? I know it, I know it in my core ~ from extreme experience. That's what gives life to the darker days. But, if my life showed it [always] would it somehow effect the world?
Questions of "Have I ever known real love??" ..... Well, let's face it. I a